Learning to accept that I am fat.

Let me ask you this, what do you think about the body that you are in? The instrument is a piece of complex machinery that you operate daily. This machinery grows daily. You grow brain cells till you are about 25. You grow taller till you are about 21 or 18. These are not facts but loose observations and world view. Those who were born in the early 9`0s are right now feeling weak in their bodies as they tired more easily, can’t keep that extra fat off, and have to work hard to maintain themselves. I am obviously not talking about the peak performing bodies of focused individuals, here. Exceptions abound. The point I want to establish is that our bodies get older. They get battered. They are machines.

We all know that machines perform certain tasks and if we want to maintain them we need to take care of the machinery. We need to oil it, polish it. Check if any parts of it are in the need of repair. That is also how you maintain your body.

Me personally, I achieved peak physical performance when I was 18 back in 2010. I was lean, four-pack, gorilla-like pecs, arms, and shoulders. I had an emo haircut to pair with this look which is psychotic but hey that is me.

Since then, things have changed. I always blamed not growing taller on my heavy workout sets and no proper training. I was stuck at 6 feet forever. I also developed a crazy body dysmorphia about my height but well that is an experience for another day.

10 years have passed since my peak body and I still tend to workout somewhat regularly. I had a hit a wall though. Improper eating habits and a weird workout routine made my life hell. I gained extreme amounts of weight. My body is carrying injuries from self-trained powerlifting. (Great book to learn how to power lift the right way) Given the wall that I had hit with the development and performance of my body, I realized that I am still working out like a pro even when my body has lost the basic performance build and strength to perform basic reps correctly. I am fat, I am learning to accept that. I have made a big breakthrough on the same. I figured that I need to go back to the drawing board and follow a strict plan. I subscribed to Freeletics coach program and started with a basic beginner level program to learn where I stand. It was 15 minutes a day four days a week program with small exercises. Only bodyweight. I thought I am going to enjoy doing these small workouts and have fun along the way. I couldn’t last 5 minutes into them. This made me realize that my body is struggling. I was aghast. Since then, I have been trying to work hard on myself. One day at a time. One less bite every meal.

So, if you want to build a good looking body you need to be connected to your body. You need to feel what it feels. You need to know your pain points. Work on fixing them. Seek help from professionals. Work your body, do yoga. Be connected. If you need this machinery to function optimally over the years you need to put in the time, now!